No title yet (ZaDr)
by snakehands
Summary: Dib receives a mysterious package in the mail, one that will change his life forever (cheesy summary I know).
1. Chapter 1

A lanky black-haired man sat at his desk, completely still except for his uneven breathing and the occasional lethargic blinking of his brown eyes. His hands were poised on his computer keyboard, fingers lightly resting on the home row, yet he typed nothing. In fact he hadn't typed anything in days, maybe even weeks – he had lost any concept of time. Ever since 'She' had left him time had stopped for his poor broken heart.

The room was dim, blinds drawn against the light of the beautiful summer afternoon. He didn't care about the weather though, and he didn't care about his assignment which was due first thing Monday morning. The mating habits of the Flesh-Footed Furry Bird* would usually be fascinating to him, but the dejected man had no interest in anything anymore, and he felt no motivation to continue his research despite the impending deadline.

The man sighed for about the hundredth time that day and leaned back in his chair, staring at the blank monitor with his arms now hanging down limply at his sides. At first he had been offended when his editor told him he should start writing for a certain unpopular nature magazine. He accepted, though grudgingly, but his first few articles were dripping in sarcasm at the indignity. However that only made his column the most popular the magazine had printed in years. He was offered a permanent job and asked to be a major contributor to the periodical every month. Since at that time his writer's block was crippling his ability to write any more novels he accepted the job, shamefacedly.

Not that the man was very successful at writing novels but at least he was doing something he loved. Now he didn't even have enough inspiration to write a small article about birds, nor any other topic assigned to him. His beautiful fiancé had grown tired of him and walked out days, maybe weeks, ago and he had just helplessly stood there and watched her go. Just as that moment was about to replay the memory in his head again the doorbell rang, jostling him out of his private pity-party.

"I'm not going to answer that." The dark-haired man mumbled to himself, keeping his back to the door. The doorbell rang again accompanied by a loud banging from a strong fist striking wood. "Go away!" The man yelled.

"Open up, we got a package for this address." A deep voice returned.

"Just leave it there, I'll get it later." The man replied, "I don't want to see anyone." He finished under his breath.

"You need to sign for it!" A different male's voice said.

"And it's perishable." The first man said, sounding annoyed. "Freak." He whispered to his companion who snickered.

The door creaked open to reveal a very pale, thin man who was in serious need of a shower. One of the delivery men was tall and had a full yet neatly trimmed beard; his name tag said 'Cliff'' The other man was shorter and somewhat fat, his tag displayed the name 'Mark'. Between them was a large, wooden box – it was at least 5 feet tall and two feet wide and two feet deep – it almost resembled a small coffin. The man frowned at it in confusion and both of the men wearing brown uniforms cracked knowing smiles.

"Your name Dib?" Cliff asked, shoving an electronic signature device through the door.

"Ya but I didn't order anything." Dib answered, taking the stylet out of the holder on the device and signing the screen automatically. "Is it a gift or something?"

"Ya, it's a gift." Cliff smirked, the cynicism quite evident in his tone.

"That's what they all say." Mark quipped. They tipped the box onto its side and hefted it into the house together. Something made a substantial sounding thump from inside the package when they shifted it.

"What's in there, a kid?" Dib joked, moving aside to let the delivery crew in. Cliff and Mark both made faces of disgust.

"Pervert." Mark whispered but Dib clearly heard it. He was about to question the accusation when Cliff interrupted him.

"Where do you want this set up?" He asked curtly, no longer wanting to be there. "Basement? Bedroom?"

"Uh, well what is it?" Dib asked.

"It's a frickin' Irken." Mark retorted. "The symbol's right on the box." He gestured with his head at the red, triangular insignia painted on the package. "So quit acting like you don't know what that is. And this box is heavy, where do you want it?"

"Well I don't have a basement but I really don't want anything that big in my –"

"Bedroom it is." Mark declared and immediately grabbed the box and took it down the hall. The house is small and only had one bedroom and one bathroom so it was easy for the hefty man to find the right place.

"Most of the equipment you will need is in the box; Mark will set everything up for you." Cliff started while pulling the instructional manual out of his shoulder bag. "It's part of the service." He managed to say over the sound of a banging hammer coming from the bedroom.

"What is he doing to my room?!" Dib yelled, heading for the hallway when he clearly heard the sound of drilling.

Cliff smoothly stepped into his path. "I suggest you allow us to install your equipment. The model 'Z' is as hardcore as you can get and you don't want any of the screws to come out." He pointed to a large 'Z' printed on the first page of the manual to illustrate his point.

"Okay I don't know what you're talking about, I don't know what an 'Irken' is and I definitely don't want you damaging my walls!" Dib cried, hearing more construction-type noises from down the hall. "I rent this place!"

"It will only take a few minutes." Cliff said, casually handing the manual over. Dib didn't even look at it and put it down on his desk, still more concerned with his walls.

"Done." Mark simply said, dusting his hands off on his pants as he stomped quickly through the living room and out the door.

"Bye." Cliff said and quickly followed his partner.

Dib stared at the door indignantly for a few moments after it closed, leaving him alone in his living room. Then he turned and went to see what Mark had 'installed'.

Dib slammed opened the door to his bedroom. He wasn't expecting to find anything alive so when heard a surprised "Ah!" sound he stopped short just inside the jamb.

"What the fuck?" Dib breathed, approaching the green creature that was sitting in a black chair in the corner of his room. The first thing he noticed was its attire: red leather gloves that almost reached up to its shoulders, a fishnet tank top and very long red leather boots with metal platform soles. He had to admit it was quite a sexy sight, even though the creature had green skin and black antennae growing out of its hairless head. Dib then noticed that not only was the creature blindfolded but it was restrained at the ankles and neck to the floor and walls with black leather straps. It also had cuffs around its wrists that connected to a collar it was wearing around its neck with a big 'Z' on the front. It had a strange gag strapped into its mouth unlike anything Dib had ever seen – it just held its mouth wide open, exposing what looked like dozens of needle-sharp fangs. Some slight drool was dribbling down the thing's jaw.

Its slender and well-defined legs were forced wide open by a metal bar secured at the knees and Dib realized that there was a very distinctive bulge in its tight red leather shorts. "What the fuck is this?" He questioned out loud again, realizing that whatever it is it's obviously male. The creature's antennae jerked at the sound of his voice and it began to struggle.

"Hello, Master." A pleasant female voice said. "Thank you for purchasing me, I am very pleased to serve you."

"Who said that?" Dib asked, seeing as the creature's mouth wasn't able to move.

"Ah!" Was all it was able to say as it thrashed against its bindings.

"Please input your name, Master." The voice said.

"Don't call me that, I didn't purchase you." Dib tried.

"It matters not." The voice happily replied. "Please input your name."

"Uh, Dib." Dib said carefully, deciding that somehow this 'Z' thing was speaking to him. Dib heard a faint beeping sound.

"Thank you." It said, then "please input your gender."

"Male." Dib replied, trying to look behind the struggling Irken but he was afraid to get too close. He could see some kind of gleaming metal thing on its back which was causing it to arch uncomfortably against the back of the chair.

Beep. "Thank you. And what is your preference?" The pleasant voice asked next.

"Preference?" Dib questioned.

"Seme, Uke or Versatile?" It clarified.

Dib didn't know what it meant by these terms but he figured he was a pretty adaptable person. "I guess 'Versatile.'"

The creature stopped struggling at that and cocked its head to the side. It made a strange, garbled sound then – almost like it was trying to laugh – and a fresh string of saliva dripped out of its mouth.

"Look, do you know who ordered you? So I can send you back?" Dib said, finally getting over his initial shock. He immediately went to the spreader bar, since it was making him very uncomfortable. He unclasped it and 'Z' was able to relax his shaking legs finally. Next Dib went for the blindfold but once he touched Z's head Z immediately pulled back and out of Dib's grasp.

"Come on now." Dib said gently and reached for the blindfold again. "I'm trying to help you." The Irken just jerked his head to the side this time, growling loudly. Dib shook his head with disapproval then decided to take the gag off instead.

The instant Dib pulled the gag out of the Irken's mouth he lashed out at him, snapping teeth like a rabid crocodile. Dib barely was able to jump back in time to not get a nasty bite. He stumbled over his own feet and crashed down onto his butt, then backpedaled away to the opposite wall.

The Irken was still gnashing out with its teeth and snarling wildly. If he weren't secured by the straps the chair would easily have toppled over and it would be loose in the room. Dib shivered at the thought.

"Please remove my blindfold now." The voice said perkily. "I would like to begin serving you."

"No way!" Dib said, breathing hard while still sitting against the wall. "You're gonna bite my hand off!"

"I will not harm my master." The voice replied, not sounding so polite now. Dib heard a zapping sound and the creature's body immediately stiffened with a grunt, after a few seconds of this it relaxed and its mouth snapped shut. "Master, please remove my blindfold now. I would like to begin serving you."

"I'm not your master." Dib argued but got to his feet and approached again. "And what do you mean by 'serving' me?"

"Please remove my blindfold now. I would like to begin serving you." The disembodied voice repeated. The creature itself had an intimidating glower on his face and was breathing very fast. He was definitely not very happy at the moment.

"You won't bite me . . . ?" Dib said unsurely.

"I will not harm my master." The voice assured him. Dib hesitated when the creature made a strange rumbling sound deep in its throat – it was definitely a laugh, Dib thought.

Dib reached gingerly behind the Irken's head for the snap that was holding the leather blindfold shut. The Irken made no move to fight anymore so Dib quickly ripped the blindfold off of the Irken's face. At first he kept his eyes tightly screwed shut with his head down.

"Please make eye contact for approximately 5 seconds." The female voice said and the Irken's head whipped up harshly, almost as if against his will. Dib found this to be very strange but he couldn't seem to look away. He wanted to see what the eyes looked like.

"Bonding in process." The voice told him when the thing's eyelids flew open with a gasp.

"Wow." Dib marveled at the huge, pupilless maroon orbs. He had an intense feeling of butterflies in his stomach for a few seconds, and then it was gone.

"Bonding process complete." The Irken said, its voice was a little high-pitched for a male but it clearly wasn't the voice Dib had been talking to up to that point.

"Oh good, you do speak. So you can tell me where to send you back to, right?" Dib said hopefully.

The Irken scowled at him. "Did you even read the manual?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

"The what?" he asked thoughtlessly, still enthralled by the Irken's shiny, deep eyes.

"I have nothing to say to you, then." He said darkly, shifting his shoulders against his restraints uncomfortably.

"Why not, Z?" Dib asked, really wanting to untie the poor Irken but afraid of being attacked again.

"Z?" The Irken asked.

"It's your name, right? Well, I mean that guy said you're 'Z' . . ." Dib said, feeling really uncomfortable with the Irken staring at him so intently.

"That is my 'model.'" The Irken answered with a scowl. "Is your name 'Human'?" he said sardonically.

"No." Dib answered, feeling really stupid now. "So what is your name?"

"You're asking me?" The Irken replied, lifting one hairless brow slightly. Dib merely nodded awkwardly.

"Zim." He answered firmly. "It's Zim . . . Master." 

*Anyone know where this is from?


	2. Chapter 2

"Congratulations on your purchase of your very own Grade A Irken ; Model Z, a product of iCy Inc. "

Dib squinted at the words 'Model Z' – it had obviously said something else originally and then been whited out and hand-written over the top.

"Your Irken ; Model Z has been carefully constructed of the highest quality components. Its design is the result of years of experience building robots and cyborgs. You will find it an extremely effective servant for all of your domestic and sexual needs as it has been programmed to accept all of its Master's orders."

Dib's eyes went wide at that. "Sexual needs?!" Now he understood why Cliff and Mark had shown such a negative reaction to his 'kid in the box' joke, his cheeks flushed red in embarrassment at the memory.

"Your Irken ; Model Z is unique in that it is highly independent and capable of taking care of itself. It is completely intact and can make simple repairs to both its own and its Master's minor injuries for your convenience."

"Intact? As in not neutered?" Dib wondered out loud, running his finger over the words he was reading. He could feel the indentation on the paper: much of it was hand-written over white-out as well. He flipped through the pages quickly and saw that the whole manual was the same way. He found himself wondering if all manuals were like this. "Do they only have one manual template that they have to re-write for each model or something? No, that doesn't make any sense."

"Please read this manual carefully as it will help you make the most of your Irken . Most of the problems you may encounter would be minor and this manual will provide an answer. Please do not take your Irken to a human hospital if it becomes sick or there is a problem with its PAK or behavior; contact iCy Inc. for all questions relating to the health and maintenance of this unit."

"How can they refer to Zim as a 'unit'?" Dib wondered, turning the page. "He is a living thing after all."

"Chapter 1: Bonding

"Your Grade A Irken has been shipped with a blindfold. This blindfold will need to be removed in order to activate the unit. Irkens will bond irreversibly with the first human it sees so make sure it is the intended Master who removes the blindfold. It will require 5 seconds of uninterrupted eye contact to properly bond, after that it will be unable to bond with anyone else for the remainder of its life."

"Ugh." Dib sighed in exasperation. "Ok, what does 'Grade A' mean?" He flipped through the book to the glossary at the end, scanning down the list for the term he was looking for. "'Grade A: certified unbonded and untouched, virgin'." Of course.

Dib flipped back to where he had left off reading.

"All Grade A Irkens are guaranteed to last for the lifetime of their Masters. After that time the unit can be returned to iCy Inc. for reprogramming (see glossary for Grade B and Grade C) or disposal." Dib frowned at the wording of that but continued reading. "All Grade A Irkens must engage in sexual intercourse with their Master frequently (ideally at least once a week) or it will die."

"What?!" Dib read the sentence three times, hoping that he had misread it but unfortunately it said the same thing each time. "Once a week?" He tossed the manual onto his desk and took off his black-rimmed glasses to rub his eyes – he didn't want to read any more. "Why did I get a male? At least if I got a female I could . . . maybe . . . ack, what am I thinking?! I can't do that; they're not even Human!" Dib wiped his hand down his face and put his glasses back on. He sat back and tried to fight the guilt he was feeling now that he knew he had the life of this creature in his hands. "This whole thing is not my fault!"

After a few minutes he decided he needed to talk to Zim. Dib got up from his couch and trekked back to his bedroom where Zim was still tied up.

"Zim?" Dib asked as he pushed open the door. Zim was still in his chair, exactly as Dib had left him. He looked up with his characteristic scowl on his face. "I read the manual . . . " He said, not specifying that he had actually only read the first page. "I'm sorry that I took off your blindfold. I didn't know that you would –"

"If you send me back, I'll be Grade B." Zim said, his voice was soft though his expression was still angry. "No one will want me. Even as Grade A I was there for so long - I was so afraid they were going to disassemble me. And then you bought me . . . " He sneered slightly at Dib's sympathetic doe eyes, he didn't want this man's pity.

Dib decided not to argue with Zim about not buying him. "Then what would happen to you?" Dib wanted to know, not realizing how close he had come to the dangerous cyborg; in fact he knelt down right in front of him. "If no one will buy you?"

"I could be sold to a brothel at half price if any would take me." Zim answered coldly. "But more likely I'll be slowly used for spare parts and then euthanized."

"Okay." Dib said holding up his hand to implore Zim to stop speaking. "Don't worry, I won't send you back."

"Really?" Zim whispered, eyes cautiously wide with hope. "You want me?"

"Well I don't have much of a choice." Dib replied dimly. "I mean, I don't want your death on my conscience."

"Oh." Zim replied and dropped his gaze to his feet. There was an awkward silence between them. Dib wasn't sure but he felt like he had made Zim feel bad with what he had just said. He opened his mouth to try and salvage the situation when Zim spoke first. "Then let's do it." He said simply without looking up.

"Oh, yeah about that –" Dib scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "You know I'm not . . . I mean, I like girls so I can't really . . . . um . . ." Dib stuttered, embarrassed to be having this conversation at all.

Dib felt sick to his stomach when Zim's face reverted back to his angry frown. "You just said you don't want me to die." He growled.

"I know but I just don't think I can –" Dib said weakly.

"If you don't then I WILL DIE!" Zim said loudly and slowly as if talking to an idiot, and to him he was. "You may as well euthanize me now! It'll be less painful!"

"Well, how long can you survive without it?" Dib asked nervously, standing up when noticing how upset Zim was becoming. "Maybe I can figure something out?" He put his hands out in what he hoped was a calming manner.

"You ass!" Zim yelled, leaning forward as much as he could and snapping out again with his fangs. Dib cried out in pain when one of Zim's razor-sharp teeth grazed his left thumb, it instantly spurted out blood.

"Ow, damnit Zim!" Dib cursed, holding his bleeding digit with his other hand. "Aren't you not supposed to hurt me?"

"You're the one who programmed me for S&M." Zim snarled, he began struggling frantically at his restraints.

"Programmed . . . ? Just - whatever." Dib snarked, heading to the bathroom to clean out his wound. "Just where am I going to sleep with him in my room? There's no way I could use my bed with him right next to it." He said irritably to himself.

Dib ran his finger under the faucet, watching the blood flow out in rivulets. "That was close, what would have happened if I had still been kneeling so close to him? He said he wouldn't harm me but he is programmed to do just that." He worried. "He could easily bite my fingers off or worse." Dib sighed, feeling very frustrated with this burden that was dumped onto him. "I'm going to have to gag him. But how am I supposed to feed him? And what am I going to do when he needs to use the bathroom?"

Dib wrapped a rag around his thumb and held it firmly for a several minutes. When he was sure that the bleeding had stopped he slapped a Band-Aid on it. "Well, I'll worry about that later. I can just put the gag in that he came with I guess." It wasn't ideal since that gag seemed really uncomfortable but he can order a better one online and hopefully it would arrive tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

Zim was confused. It had been hours since he had arrived; tied up nicely for his Master's pleasure, yet his Master had not touched him. "And he has said such cruel things to me." Zim thought. And he had been so elated to have finally been bought by someone and then his happiness had been crushed, Dib said he didn't want him and never had.

"He says he doesn't want me to die yet he doesn't approach me." Zim continued his train of thought. "He cursed at me and ran away when I bit him yet he's the one who asked for BDSM . . . "

"Wait . . . this must be a game! He wants me to beg, such a sneaky 'S'." Zim smiled to himself, relieved at his revelation. "Thank God he does want me."

He was still smiling when Dib came back into the room, something was clutched in his fist but Zim couldn't see what it was. His lekku shot up in delight – it must be a sex toy!

Zim quickly got ahold of himself and lowered his lekku as Dib cautiously approached, just as his program told him to, and lowered his eyes in submission. Dib stopped as close to Zim as he would dare. Zim was trembling in anticipation. "Finally." He thought.

"Master, I have been waiting for you." Zim said softly. "I have been naughty. Please discipline me."

Dib gaped at his Irken, dumbfounded. He completely forgot about what was in his hand and he dropped it on the ground. Zim saw what it was – the gag that had been shoved into his mouth when he had first arrived.

"Oh, you've dropped something. If you untie me and I will retrieve it for you." Zim said, happier than he had ever been in his life, but keeping his head lowered like he was supposed to.

Shaking himself out of his trance Dib bent down and picked up the gag. "There is no way I'm untying you."

"Of course, Master, I am sorry that I overstepped my bounds. I won't do it again." Zim said, trying to keep his smile hidden. "Please punish me!"

"Okay, why are you acting like this?" Dib said uneasily. "This is weird."

Zim's peeked up at Dib. "Is this not what you desire? Are you an 'M'?" He inquired. "Really, Master, you should just tell me what you want. I'd much rather be the 'S' anyway."

"What are you talking about?" Dib asked, really confused now.

"Untie me." Zim ordered, donning his familiar pissed-off look. "You are the one who's been bad. I will teach you a lesson you won't forget."

"I'm not untying you, you're too dangerous." Dib stated.

"That's right I am dangerous, if you don't do what I say." Zim growled, putting his lekku forward now in aggression.

"What the Hell? Weren't you just asking me to punish you?" Dib's voice cracked as some kind of long metal rod came up out of the PAK on Zim's back. It stopped growing several feet above Zim's head then two sharp blades folded down from the top. They started to spin so fast they were a blur and they easily cut through the straps that were restraining Zim's neck.

"Oh shit!" Dib backed up, not wanting to turn his back to this monster who now wanted to punish him. Zim brought his hands up to his mouth, they were still tied to his collar but there was just enough space for him to bite through the strap. That was when Dib turned to run but he felt Zim's sharp claws grab his arm before he could even take one step. He scrambled as much as he could but Zim was incredibly strong, he pulled Dib over and sat him in his lap.

"Where are you going?" He purred, putting his hands around Dib's neck. Dib realized that Zim's hands may be free from his neck but they were still attached to each other, and his ankles were still strapped to the floor so if he could get himself off of Zim's lap he will still be able to run away and lock the door.

Dib felt Zim's fingers shift a little and decided to take a chance. He leaned forward with all of his weight and fell onto the floor. He looked back over his shoulder as Zim brought his cuffed hands to his face and bit through the metal with a loud clang, then stood up.

"Holy fuck!" Dib screamed, really fearing for his life now. He knew he should be running away but he was petrified of Zim who was now looming above him. He had no idea that Irkens were this strong, and his teeth weren't even damaged from biting through those cuffs!

"Zim, stop!" Dib whimpered. Zim, unmoved, reached down with his claws and easily sliced through the straps holding his ankles to the floor, then knelt down in front of the cowering Dib.

Smiling widely and looking Dib straight in the eyes Zim picked up the gag that had fallen onto the floor and held it up to Dib's mouth. Dib shook his head but Zim shoved it in roughly anyway. Dib cried out in pain and fear as Zim snapped it closed behind the Human's head. It really was uncomfortable.


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh my God." Was all Dib was thinking. "Oh my God, oh my God . . . "

Zim had grabbed him by his shirt and thrown him onto his bed roughly. He yanked on one of the leather leashes that was hanging from the ceiling (one that had Dib thought been holding Zim's neck so securely) and pulled the hook right out of the beam. He wrapped it around his left hand and snapped it taught with his right.

"Uh-uh!" Was all he could say around his gag when Zim jumped onto the bed on top of him and began to wrap the leash around Dib's wrists. Zim took the loose end and tied it to one of the slats on the headboard.

"Okay, let's begin." Zim said and pulled Dib's make-shift handcuffs tight.

"Ah!" Dib grunted in discomfort. He looked back up at Zim imploringly. He shook his head from side to side.

"Master, you are being disobedient again." Zim smirked, grabbing fistfuls of Dib's black T-shirt. In one quick tug he drew it up over Dib's head and left it there, still tangled up in his bound arms. A strange-looking grappler snuck out of Zim's PAK, snaking its way over to Dib's night table and grabbing hold of the candle that was sitting there – a leftover from his fiancée that he had never lit.

"Ah!" Dib screamed. "Please, not that. It's all I have left." He wished he could say. He shook his head furiously.

"You're so excited." Zim said brightly, totally misreading Dib's reaction. "I see, you just wanted me to take charge." He dropped the candle into his hand.

Another grappler rose up out of Zim's PAK, but the end of this one morphed into what looked like a flame-thrower nozzle.

"Oh no, he's going to light it." Dib thought, he watched helplessly as Zim lit the wick. Zim allowed it burn to for a few seconds, drawing out the tension in the room. Then he ran his claws sensually down Dib's sparsely haired chest and stomach, appreciating his thin yet defined torso. He leaned down and licked at Dib's neck, sucking on the hot skin for a moment before biting down. Dib flinched and grunted in pain. Zim chuckled lightly then focused his attention on his dusky nipples.

Zim sucked and gently nibbled the pink flesh. For the other one he pinched and rubbed it with his fingers. Dib started to struggle fiercely at his restraints, almost as if he really wanted free. Zim sat up with a slightly bewildered look on his face. "Are you really so impatient?" He asked, bringing the burning candle forward over Dib's bare chest. Dib shook his head frantically again, trying to get the message across that he really didn't want this – that it was some kind of bizarre misunderstanding – but Zim still didn't get it.

"AAAAAH!" Dib yelled when Zim tipped the candle, spilling hot wax onto the tender skin of his stomach. He squeezed his eyes closed and tried to swallow his yelps as the molten hot wax dripped onto his right nipple and up his neck. Zim tipped the candle back upright, staring at Dib's scrunched up face. He scanned Dib with his PAK sensors again, hoping that the readings he was getting were wrong: Dib was showing no signs of pleasure or arousal, only signs of fear and pain.

"Okay, he's not into wax." Zim thought and placed it back onto the side table, still burning. Zim accessed his PAK programming for a different technique. "Maybe he'll like this?" Zim reached down and ripped Dib's pants open, destroying both the button and zipper. Dib squeaked in surprise. Then Zim grabbed Dib by his hips and quickly flipped him over, pulling his jeans and boxers down and exposing his pale yet firm butt. Dib tried to growl or grunt or make any kind of sound Zim would interpret as displeasure but Zim put his hand onto the back of Dib's head and shoved his face into his pillow.

Zim raised his free hand up a few feet from Dib and thwacked him hard on the ass. Dib jerked and grunted loudly from the pillow. Zim smacked him a few more times, proud of how red he was making the flesh look. He flipped Dib back over, expecting his face to be flushed with desire but it wasn't – he was glaring up at him furiously.

Zim shook his head; he didn't understand why this wasn't working. He looked down at Dib's crotch and saw that he was completely flaccid. "This doesn't make sense." He thought then grabbed Dib's manhood in his fist. If he could get it erect with his hand first then he could put a cock ring on it to keep it hard. "Maybe he just needs a little help to get started . . . "

"Ah!" Dib yelled loudly and started stomping his feet like a child having a tantrum. Zim backed away at the strange behavior and Dib was able to leverage himself to get one of his legs up, then he kicked Zim in the stomach as hard as he could. Zim's small body flew off the bed and crashed onto the floor.

Dib pulled at his wrist restraints, twisting them back and forth in an effort to untie them. Zim stood up shakily from the floor. Dib's expression was obviously one of disapproval so Zim leaned over and gently removed his gag.

"Untie. Me. NOW." Dib demanded. Zim sat on his knees on the bed and slowly untied Dib's wrist bindings. Dib sat up rubbed his wrists for a few seconds, sulking. He reached over silently and grabbed the candle that was still burning on the night table. He blew it out and kept hold of it when he climbed off of the bed. He grabbed a pair of pants out of his dresser then walked out of the room and straight out the front door, slamming it loudly as he went.

"What did I do wrong?" Zim asked the empty room disappointedly, watching Dib stomp to his car through the bedroom window, hitching up his drooping pants as he went.


	5. Chapter 5

Dib grumbled to himself as he drove down old, familiar streets. It was getting dark now and he just wanted to go to bed but he couldn't because of that . . . monster. He was grumbling to himself angrily about what had just happened. He was most upset about the candle having been damaged even though he had clearly told Zim not to light it. "And just what the Hell was that all about? Isn't he supposed to follow my orders? How many times do I have to tell him no?" He huffed, gently fingering the burnt wick when he stopped at a red light. The wick crumbled under his touch.

"It's all melted now." He said sullenly, remembering for the first time in hours what had been making him so depressed lately – his fiancée. He hadn't been able to get her out of his mind for even one minute since she left, how could had he forgotten about her for so long today?

"Damn lizard." Dib murmured, gently putting the candle down on the passenger seat when the light turned green. "And he's free now. He better not destroy anything else in my house." Dib said to himself, remembering how ridiculously strong Zim has turned out to be.

Dib finally pulled into the driveway of a small house, yanking harder than necessary on the hand brake. Grabbing his fresh pants and the candle he exited his car and walked up to the front door of his childhood home. He unlocked the door easily with his key and stepped inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What are you doing here?" A grating voice asked when he stepped in.

"Don't start with me, Gaz." Dib said to his perpetually-cranky sister who was sitting on the couch watching TV. He walked past her and up the stairs to his old room to quickly change his pants. He opened his closet and pushed his clothes away. "Good, it's still here." He said, calming down a little now. He picked up the safe that had been there since he was a child. He still remembered the combination and opened it. Inside he found some old baseball cards (worthless ones), notes to himself from elementary school and a picture of his mom.

Dib took a moment to look at the picture of his mom, smiling unconsciously. He gently put the picture back into the safe before placing the thick candle inside with it – which barely fit. Then he locked the safe with a relieved sigh. "Good." He whispered to himself, then got up and went into the spare room down the hall.

Dib was surprised when he stepped into the spare room and looked around – there were clothes in the closet and toiletries on the dresser but they had no other siblings and their dad was such a workaholic that he never slept at home. He turned and hopped back down the steps. "Gaz, what's up with the spare room?"

"What about it?" Gaz replied, deliberately being unhelpful.

"It looks like it's being used, who's staying here?" Dib asked, not letting her insouciant attitude get to him (she'd been like this all her life and he was used to it).

"I am." A happy voice piped up from the love-seat in front of Dib, startling him. He hadn't even noticed someone was there when he came in, as focused as he was on his own troubles. "My name is Keef." The perky red-head said.

"Oh, hi." Dib waved dismissively. "I just wanted to take the futon that was in there but I guess you're using it." Dib said.

Keef nodded happily. "Ya, Gaz said I could crash here for a while after my folks kicked me out."

"Oh Gaz said so?" Dib smirked. "So are the two of you two an item then?"

"Um no." Gaz said, turning the channel on the TV. "As if." Dib blinked at her tone.

"Gaz, don't be so rude!" He chastised.

"She's just teasing." Keef laughed, reaching for the bowl of half-burnt popcorn that was on the coffee table. He offered the bowl to Dib who quickly declined. "We've been best friends since first grade, she just pretends to hate me. It's funny!"

"Ok." Dib said, not finding that funny at all. He wondered how these two could be friends for so long being so different from each other. "I'm just going to take my old mattress home with me, then." Dib told them. He turned and marched back up the steps and into his room.

Dib stood in his room, thinking about the best way to go about getting the mattress into his car. "I'll help!" Keef yelled suddenly right behind him, and again Dib jumped in surprise of him.

"It's just a twin; I can handle it." Dib replied, annoyed with this new person in his house shadowing him. Dib stripped the childish comforter - it was covered with planets, stars and rockets - and dumped it onto the floor. When he straightened back up he bumped into Keef who was peering over Dib's shoulder. Dib decided to just take him up on his offer to help for no other reason than to get some space from him right now. "Actually, you can bring that if you want." He said, pointing to the safe in the closet. Keef happily lifted it and tucked it under his arm.

Dib grabbed the mattress and hefted it onto his shoulder, eager to get out of this house. "Oh wait a minute." Dib looked over to his old computer and considered for a moment ordering that new mouth gag now so he wouldn't forget. "Zim could get out of his restraints the whole time he was in them, a gag wouldn't be any help at all. But still . . . " He decided he would feel safer if Zim's scary fangs were behind a barrier, even a flimsy one made of cloth.

"I'll meet you downstairs in a minute, ok?" Dib said, sitting down at the child-sized desk and logging in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dib was feeling much better when he powered down the computer. He had actually gotten a nice leather over the mouth gag that would be much more comfortable for daily wear. "Hopefully he'll leave it alone if I order him to." Dib thought. "And if he doesn't, well . . . I'll worry about that later."

"Thanks for helping me carry stuff." Dib said when he saw Keef leaning on his car. He pulled out his keys and impatiently opened the back door so they could put their cargo inside.

"No problem, but I have a bit of an ulterior motive to helping." Keef said happily. "You know, Gaz is a good friend and all but sometimes she can be a little bit of a downer. And I don't have any friends who live around here, so are you doing anything tonight?"

"Oh, sorry but I'm busy. I have to, you know . . . set up this mattress." Dib answered, not able to think up a better excuse fast enough.

"Oh ya, that'll be a lot of work." Keef said good-naturedly. Dib couldn't tell if he was being facetious or if he really was that dumb. "Well, you can call me if you need help." Keef hinted and pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. It was Dib's.

"What the -?" Dib snatched his phone and looked at the screen. Keef had programmed his own cell phone number into it. Frowning at the smiling red-head Dib put his phone into his pocket and quickly got into his car, he couldn't wait to get home.

"Drive safely." Keef waved as Dib quickly drove away.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: definitions of some fetishes at the end of this chapter if you want to read them (they are not all relevant to the story). Just know that some are pretty bad.

Also, I took some liberty as to the usage of the terms 'seme' and 'uke'. Just go with it.

Zim was still in the bedroom, sitting in his chair with his legs drawn up, his head resting on his knees. He hadn't left the bedroom at all since he had arrived. Dib expected to still be angry with him but when he saw the slumped, defeated posture he couldn't help but feel a little bit of sympathy for the unpredictable creature.

"Zim?" Dib said very quietly, not knowing what to expect. "Don't get up!" He hurriedly added when Zim picked his head up, even though he showed no signs of doing so.

"You have to obey me, right?" Dib had one foot outside of the door ready to bolt if Zim showed any sign of attacking him again. "Because I'm your Master?"

"You're a shitty Master." Zim said, and lowered his head back down onto his knees. "And unfortunately yes, I do have to obey you."

"Well you haven't done a very good job of that so far." Dib muttered, believing that he had said it low enough that Zim couldn't hear him. He was wrong.

"That's your fault!" Zim yelled, jumping up and puffing his chest out aggressively. "You're giving me contradicting orders!"

"Zim, I'm tired. Let's just go to bed and figure this all out tomorrow, okay?" Dib said, holding his hands up in peace. "Please."

"Fine." Zim agreed and ripped off his gloves. Then he sat back down in his chair to strip off his boots.

"Uh do you have any pajamas?" Dib asked after several moments of blankly watching him undress.

"All I came with is in that box." Zim answered, nodding at a cardboard box on the dresser, it had that same red triangular insignia on it that Dib now knew meant iCy Inc.

Dib hadn't even noticed it before so he went to it to and opened up the flaps curiously. Peering in all he saw were things made of leather and rubber and flashes of metal cuffs and chains, among other objects. He quickly closed the box.

"Okay, no pajamas." He said and then almost bit his tongue when he turned and saw that Zim was now laying comfortably in his bed and running his antennae through his fingers.

"What are you doing?" He asked quickly. Even though Zim was under the covers Dib knew he was nude under there and the thought of it heated up his cheeks.

"Grooming my lekku." Zim answered mildly.

"No, I mean why are you in my bed?" Dib sputtered, averting his eyes by pulling one of his pajama tops out of the dresser.

"You said you wanted us to go to bed, so I'm in the bed." Zim replied, stopping his grooming. "If you want me to I will paddle you or pierce your nipples Master. Or I can just suck your -"

"Get out of my room!" Dib shrieked and threw the pajamas at Zim's head. Before Zim could respond in any way Dib was out the door and into the living room.

Dib grabbed the mattress that he had left on the porch and dragged it into the house. He took deep breaths to regain his composure as he tossed it onto the floor behind his dinner table but he was still quite flustered. "Zim, this is your bed." Dib pointed at the plain, little mattress when Zim shuffled out wearing Dib's very oversized pajama top, it hung almost down to his knees. Dib noticed for the first time how truly small Zim is – he had seemed so big looming over Dib as he had earlier but he barely reached the height of Dib's shoulders now.

"Why?" Zim demanded, face scrunched up in indignation.

"Because I don't want you in my room." Dib answered truthfully, also noticing for the first time how cute Zim is.

"What am I supposed to do out here alone all night?" Zim wanted to know but he sat down on the mattress anyway.

"Sleep." Dib answered.

"Sleep?!" Zim repeated. "You said you read the manual. You didn't read any of it, did you?!"

"I did, too!" Dib snapped defensively. ". . . well, I read the first page."

"Idiot!" Zim screamed. "You obviously don't care, why did you even buy me?!"

"I didn't . . . " Dib started but stopped himself, not wanting to add to the Irken's agitation.

"Why did I get my hopes up?" Dib thought he heard Zim whisper but he couldn't be sure he'd said anything at all. Zim curled up into a tiny ball and rolled onto his side, away from Dib."Good night, Master." He said acidly.

Dib didn't want to argue anymore so he silently walked back to his room for a long sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dib woke up late the next morning from dreams about his ex-lover. He looked over to his nightstand which usually had her melon-scented candle on it, now bare. "Gretchen." He sighed and lugged himself out of bed. After a quick trip to the bathroom Dib trudged out to the kitchen for some much-needed coffee and took it sluggishly to his computer desk. He got himself ready to fully read the manual, something he didn't want to do because it somehow made his whole situation that much more real. He glanced over to Zim and saw that he was still curled up and facing away. Dib turned his attention to the manual and began to read.

"Chapter 2: Programming your Grade A Irken

"Upon initiation your Grade A Irken 's PAK will ask its new Master for his/her name, gender and preference. Please answer these questions either verbally or directly input them into the PAK located on every Irken's back.

"NOTE: DO NOT tamper with the PAK located on every Irken's back; it contains all information on keeping the Irken alive and functioning and if disabled it will result in irreversible death of the unit within 10 minutes."

"Whoa, I'm glad I read that. I was thinking about opening it up later today." Dib thought, again peering over to Zim who was now silently watching him. Dib continued reading, this time out loud.

"Preferences:

"Choose 'Seme' if you wish to have total control over your Irken.

"Choose 'Uke' if you wish for your Irken to have total control over you. Who the Hell would choose 'Uke'?!" Dib exclaimed.

"Invalids mostly." Zim answered cooly. "We're not just for sex, you know."

"Oh yeah, that makes sense." Dib replied, tasting his foot.

"Although that is our speciality." Zim added cheekily.

Dib cleared his throat and continued reading.

"Choose 'Versatile' if you wish to have both. So what does this have to do with BDSM?" Dib wanted to know.

"Keep reading." Zim said, uncharacteristically patient.

"After a preference is chosen a 'Fetish' must be immediately imputted from the list below. If no fetish is chosen the default will be selected, which is the first item on the list.

"Fetish list:

"Bondage/BDSM . . . "

"Of course." Dib said exasperatedly. "I swear someone is playing a joke on me." He was almost afraid to continue reading the list if this was number one but he had to know what else he could program Zim to do - this fetish is definitely not what he wanted.

"Cannibalism, CBT, Cutting/blood play, Diaper . . . soiling . . ?" Dib almost choked on his spit as he read. "Exhibitionism, Extreme insertions/fisting?! Feederism? Furry! Incest?! Ack!" Dib looked over at Zim aghast. How could he do these kinds of things? "What's CBT?!" He asked him.

"You can't handle doing that, trust me. Just keep going." Zim replied, amused by Dib's innocent reaction.

"Lactaphilia and MBP (require special programming and maintenance; contact iCy Inc. for further instructions) - what're those?" Dib asked of Zim again.

"Skip over them, neither of us is female so we can't do them anyway." Zim told him, grinning very widely and licking his teeth with his long, serpantile tongue. "Keep going, Master."

"I don't think I want to." Dib said but did continue despite it. "Necrophilia, Non-con, Orgy, Pedophilia, Prolapse, Prostitution, Scat . . . this just keeps getting worse." Dib sat back and removed his glasses so he could wipe his face.

"You're not done yet." Zim piped up from the corner, Dib didn't bother to look at him this time but if he did he'd see Zim lounging cattily on his stomach, feet twirling in the air. Dib replaced his glasses quickly so he could get to the end of this list or depravity.

"Slavery, Snuff, Torture/violence, Vomit play, Voyeurism, Water sports, Zoophilia. If you have a fetish not on the list just contact iCy Inc. blah blah . . . ugh!" Dib took a deep breath, he'd finished the list and now he had a bad taste in his mouth. He remained quiet for a long time."So how do I re-program you?" He finally asked.

"You sure you want to? You look as green as me after just reading that list." Zim chuckled. "Do you think any of those programs are an improvement?"

"I don't even know what all of these are." Dib confessed. He briefly considered looking the terms he didn't know up in the glossary but then decided against it; Zim was right if he couldn't handle reading the list then he probably didn't even want to know what all of those terms meant, in fact he wished he didn't know some of the ones that he already did. And he definitely couldn't imagine doing any of them with this little green male psychopath.

"Okay, fine." Dib assented. "We'll just keep your programming what it is for now. The next chapter is 'health and maintenance'."

Dib read a little bit to himself and grimaced guiltly. "Oh, I see now why you got so mad at me last night when I said you should sleep. You don't sleep . . . or eat or use the bathroom? Never, really?"

"Well we can eat small amounts if you so desire it. There's a list in the back of the Human foods we can have, and of course iCy makes 'Irken feed' but it's pretty gross."

Dib flipped to the back of the book, searching for the Irken menu page. There were only four things on it: Fun Dip, waffles, doughnuts and Poop soda. "You can have waffles, what about pancakes?" Dib asked lightly.

"No." Zim answered, very serious.

"Oh." Dib said, not for the first time intimidated Zim's tone. He turned his attention back to the book.

"Chapter 3: Uses for Your Grade A Irken.

"Chapter 4: Training and Disciplining Your Grade A Irken.

"Chapter 5: Troubleshooting.

"Chapter 6: Emergency Procedures.

"Chapter 7: Glossary.

"Chapter 8: Index and diagrams.

"Chapter 9: Return Policy.

"Chapter 9: Warranty.

"Chapter 10: Licencing Agreement.

"There's so much to read." Dib complained but turned the page and continued on despite it.

BDSM = Bondage Discipline/Domination Sadism Masochism  
>CBT = Cock and Ball Torture<br>Exhibitionism = showing ones genitals in public  
>Feederism = being fed or feeding another to get fat (yes it is considered to be sexual)<br>Fisting = inserting ones entire fist into the vagina or anus  
>Furry = sex while dressed up like animals<br>Lactaphilia = breast milk play  
>MBP = Menstrual Blood Play<br>Necrophilia = sex with a corpse  
>Non-con = non-consentual sexrape  
>Orgy = 3 or more people having sex<br>Prolapse = body tissue protruding through an orifice (the uterus or rectum turns inside out and bulges out – requires months or even years of 'extreme stretching')  
>Scat = sex with poop<br>Snuff = killing your partner while having sex (usually recorded and very gory)  
>Voyeurism = secretly watching others having sex or masturbating<br>Water sports = sex with urination  
>Zoophilia = sex with animals<p> 


End file.
